Hey friends,

Check out my story 'Fever Dream,' now online at PANK Magazine -

http://www.pankmagazine.com/fever-dream/

Cheers!

[new music][secret cove]

I checked out, and caught a ride
Flew into an interesting time

('Alice,' by Secret Cove)
(Check them out here: http://secretcove.bandcamp.com/)

Didn’t they know there was a cemetery there before they started digging?

I wonder how they knew it was a slave cemetery. Was it a name on a headstone? Did they know it was there before they started digging, and no one said anything about it until they actually found it?

* * *

I suppose it was a rather idyllic scenario, a fancy restaurant next to the beach, rolling waves and attractive people walking around, but for us, there was something eerie going on. Part of it had to do with the way we were able to go from the restaurant to the beach without a problem, even if we were soaking wet and as salty as the rims of our margarita glasses. And the people who were walking around—that seemed to be all they were doing, walking around. Even the man with the gray beard, who didn’t look much older than us. He was really, really attractive, and Evan thought so too. He was walking around farther away from the restaurant and the beach; if it weren’t for him, I might not have known there was a town nearby. He seemed to be staying away from the waiters. He didn’t avoid us.

It was clear that he was selling weed. No one else seemed to know what he was doing. I think that’s why he was staying away from the others but he didn’t mind approaching us. At one point he told us that we could get one eighth for cheap but two for half that. Buying in bulk is always better, he said. I knew that. Before we bought any we went swimming. While we were crashing around in the waves, it occurred to me that at that logic, why didn’t we buy three for a third of the price? Or ten for a tenth? It was obvious: the more we bought, the less we spent, so why not buy everything? It should be free, I reasoned, or close to.

 * * *

I’m a little apprehensive about being alone with Bianca. She hasn’t brought up the living situation yet but she keeps hinting at something, and she acts like she wants to talk but won’t bring up the subject. For instance, she walked me to my car the other day and kept saying pointless things as I looked for my keys and opened the door. But then she let me go.

It’s her turn to bring it up, or it would be if we were playing tennis, seeing as I sent the email outlining my opinion and basically inveighing her for picking an apartment I hate (after I signed the lease, of course) and she hasn’t said anything about it yet. I would bring it up but I’m afraid she’s going to say she doesn’t care and isn’t going to look for someone to sublet. But I need to start looking for my own place, if she’ll let me. The good ones will be gone soon.

 * * *

         
What was even stranger about the disturbing headline was that it was completely out of context; it referenced “Manhattan” as casually as one would expect, so I knew that I was somewhere where New York was a standard measurement of place. I didn’t like how it said “they” the way someone who spices up their conversation with clichés does. Don’t they teach you not to use vague pronouns as authoritative figures?

I went back to the newspaper stand to read the rest, after I realized I was more curious than I cared to admit, but I couldn’t find my way back. It was near, I remembered, where we met the gray-bearded man. It was a red box that asked for a quarter in exchange for the daily newspaper. A square red box about waist-high, like a little pet. It was the only red thing around, except the restaurant’s carpet, which, now that I think about it, extended out to the patio.

Of course, being thwarted in my search for the rest of the newspaper article, in addition to being mildly annoying, only enflamed my curiosity.

 I don’t know where Bianca was during all this. Hopefully she was at her wretched new apartment, learning to love to be alone so she wouldn’t want me to move in.

I took my friend Avery to the art museum to look at paintings on his day off. I think he enjoyed himself, but it was hard to tell if we were looking at the same things.

'Look at this texture,' he said at one stop, admiring from behind the velvet rope the frame around a painting. 'It's exquisite.'

'No, it's plastic,' I said, and tried to explain where the real art was.

He tried to like the painting, I could tell, but his eyes kept sliding away, this time down to the velvet rope itself.

'It's beautiful!' he cried, stroking the velvet and watching it change colors as he went with and then against the grain. 'How does anyone make something like this?'

I had to admit, I had no more idea if how to make velvet than how to paint a painting.

In the gift shop, we both picked out a few postcards to send home. I think he only bought them to please me, because as we walked out, he gave them to me, then carefully smoothed the bag they came in, folded it, and placed it in his wallet for safekeeping.

One night I dreamt that trains were free to roam anywhere the wind took them, like people, no longer bound to their tracks. Some trains decided they want to live on the second story, in someone's attic. Some realized they had always wanted to be fireplaces, and came crashing down people's chimneys. Others learned to be cars, and some began going to church every Sunday, and then meeting afterward at a diner for coffee.

Needless to say, everything was ruined, because trains are large and very destructive. Everywhere there were fires and debris and stranded travellers and horrible accidents.

I woke up almost crying, so relieved that trains, indeed, stay on their tracks.

Five-year-old Thomas was terrified that at night, when his parents went to bed, a gigantic fox came out of hiding and sat next to the city, keeping watch.

In his mind the fox was as big as the city itself, and had no qualms about eating everyone and everything in it.

'Then why doesn't it?' asked Thomas's father. 'Eat the whole city, I mean.'

He doesn't want to, Thomas answered. He doesn't like the taste of people.

'So why are you scared?' asked his mother.

Because he still could, said Thomas.

'Where is the fox now?' they asked.

I don't know. I can't see him.

'You can't?'

No. He's invisible.

'So what makes you think he's there?'

Thomas could not answer this, but he also could not sleep. His parents soon learned that it is impossilbe to disprove the existence of a giant, invisible, harmless fox to a five-year-old.

Types of Phones

1. Some phones are asymmetrical, like old couches or broken things. To dial, you have to keep your hand to the far right, where the buttons are.

Use this phone to call people you don't know very well, or when you're calling someone you do know but aren't sure how long you'll talk to them.

2. Some phones are red. These are the most polarizing kinds of phones, because they are either bright and cheery or bloodlike and scary. Either way, they'll add a bit of red to the room.

Call your relatives on this phone. They'll thank you for it.

3. Some phones are off the hook. This is when they are being used, or on an uneven surface. If you are already using this phone, carry on. If not, stay away.

4. Some phones have both straight and curved lines. On this phone, feel free to call your spouse or lover, just to say hello.

5. Some phones are very strange. Take this one, for example: olive green, and longer than it is tall, with a cross-hatching pattern on the front. Use this phone for emergencies only: you never know who, or what, you will call.