1. The Elegant Universe: 8.7/10. What genre shall we assign this mind trip through space and time? Adventure, history, science fiction without the fiction, philosophy? Physicist Brian Greene hosts this journey through the topsy-turvy worlds of the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics, and the explanation that unites them—the controversial, multidimensional string theory. Beware not of all these science-y words—you’ll learn all of them and more, before the 3 discs of this delightfully campy masterpiece are finished with you.

2. Chocolat: 4.2/10. Despite glowing recommendations from last summer’s I Love You Man, the presence of Johnny Depp, and a really sensual cover, this lukewarm movie fails to charm on several levels. First, Depp’s character, “river rat” Roux, is a lifeless ghost of his glory days as Captain Jack Sparrow. Leading lady Juliette Binoche seems misguided and unsure of her character Vianne, and in the midst of their (yawn) “romance,” the movie strains to include the dubious subplot of church versus chocolate. Sorry, Peter Klaven—this movie is neither sweet nor satisfying.

3. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus: 5/10. If you squint you eyes to make it hazy, you might actually start to think you’re dreaming. Really! This movie positively nails the associative structure, unreliable logic and visual fireworks of a vivid, long-lasting dream. If you don’t mind unresolved subplots, sizable gaps in storyline, and undertones of statutory rape, or if you really want to see Tom Waites in a “Sympathy for the Devil” type role, then sit back and let yourself get lost in someone else’s imagination. Bonus points for Johnny Depp making another excellent cameo, plus the debut of a fairly hot new actor (if you don’t know who I’m talking about, it’s the guy who’s not the midget, the old man, or Heath Ledger).

4. New Moon: Still haven’t seen it. Probably sucks.

5. It, disc 2: 10/10. Best Valentine’s DVD ever. Two and a half hours of highlights from Phish’s 2-day festival in Limestone, Maine, in 2002 = beautiful. Not to mention the unreviewed disc 1, which includes interviews with the band that truly enhance their stage presence and interpersonal chemistry that they display so effortlessly onstage. This movie has everything: trance jams, party jams, terrible vocal harmonies, jazz, electric ecstasy, mind-blowing rhythms, David Bowie…everything.

6. Fargo: still deciding/10. As stated in previous conversations, this writer simply does not understand the Coen brothers. They seem to me like inside jokes between strangers. Honestly, if someone hadn’t told me this was a great movie, I probably would have thought it was made for TV. Except for a couple great shots (namely the one where Steve Buscemi walks to his car, shot from way above), some passably funny exchanges, and the adorable-ness of Margie and her husband, this movie mostly confused and bored me. Still, I look forward to dressing up as the cat-sweater wearing, roller-banged prostitute for the upcoming Fargo-themed birthday party.